let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
