i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
well you can't waste a boner
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
