Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
