he wants to bone in the snuggie
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
