So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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