All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
