Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
