you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
