How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
