At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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