there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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