And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
