She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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