youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
