Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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