I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
