She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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