Define "chronic" masturbator.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
