someone owes me an orgasm
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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