i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize