Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
