how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
