I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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