well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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