I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
