OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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