Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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