How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
