His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
