That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She told me I should be a condom model.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
