If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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