you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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