I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
