if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
