Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I love you.
Bad choice
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
