my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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