My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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