His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
