My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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