please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she looked like the before picture.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
