I'm so fucking centered right now
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I believe in your delicious
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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