i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
