I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
