Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize