So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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