nutella sex= disaster
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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