I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
