wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
