I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
