omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
foreskin is a definite game changer
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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