Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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