You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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