Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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