She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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