Kiss
Puke
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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