I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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