I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
