the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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