Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
