And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
