Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
