I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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