Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
