Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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