So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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