The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
