We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
