Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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