just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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