They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
