i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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