I hate your face
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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